His authority bought my freedom

week 1 day 3 says 'freedom from sin comes only through the authority of Jesus'. and it urges us to consider how we can declare God's authority in our lives this week.

i know areas in my life where i feel that i continue to perform the same sin over and over, like knowing that i am not a morning person and succumbing to being grouchy anyway. or my tendency to feel like i'm 'the only one working around here'. that just is not the case, but sometimes i let myself believe it and i get frustrated and i know people can read that on me. or when i'm overly critical*. or when i care too much what people think. or when i get rubbed the wrong way by someone i find annoying or irritating and i forget to recognize what is truly at the heart of their actions - are they crying out for acceptance or importance?

there is such freedom to claim if only i would stop being me and start acting like the child of God i am! He's already bought it, this freedom. His authority has earned it! already. that is in the past and now it just a matter of moving forward clutching and living out this freedom!

i'm sitting here thinking.. man! if we only got it. you know, like truly GOT IT what our Lord has done for us. FOR US! people! we are so freakin' undeserving and yet He did it for us. what would our lives even look like, because i know it wouldn't even resemble what we've got going on here right now. our lives don't at all reflect the amazing gift of freedom we have already received. it's like getting the bestest most expensive amazing highest tech car ever made and keeping it ribboned up in the garage, never starting it up, never opening the door, never making an appearance in it. you would walk around telling people what you got, but without ever showing it off, without ever actually driving it, folks would wonder what was wrong with you or think you were lying about it.

we've got a rockin' vehicle here, WHY AREN'T WE OUT THERE IN IT??

hm.

i just realized i way veered off onto a tangent. maybe that was meant to be. maybe i just really need some caffeine.

*something i think i may have stumbled upon about myself is that what makes me great at my job almost makes it very difficult to be in a relationship. i'm very critical. when i'm observing the services at church and debriefing them later, i can usually come up with things that could have gone better, more efficiently, or things that need to be improved or avoided in the future. i feel like God has given me an eye for that so i can do the job He has laid before me. but it bleeds into my relationships. particularly with my husband. i know i am critical. and i know sometimes it realy hurts him because he feels like i'm telling him he isn't good enough. and i hate that about me. i need to allow that to flourish in me where it is necessary and called for, but curb it when i am with my loved ones. i can have high expectations for them, sure, because i want the best for them and i want them to be the best. but not to shoot them down or think they aren't trying when they don't achieve something trace thinks they should achieve. that's my will. not God's. and God created them, not me. if i created people, then sure, i could exert my will on them all the live long day. but alas that will never be the case. we are not creators. we are His people, all following His unique design for each of our individual lives.

becoming aware of this about myself thrills me.
knowing i must now move forward with that knowledge and apply it overwhelms me.